You Can Never Go Back

By Phil | May 15, 2008

I was sitting on my couch this evening, recovering from an afternoon bike ride, and as is my usual evening routine, I tuned the old TV to TBS…the sitcom station.  I love watching old syndicated shows…I don’t really know why.  Tonight, as I found myself doing other tasks (church web updates, anyone?), I was enjoying another episode of my all-time favorite show, Friends.  Something hit me as I watched.  It was an episode that I vividly remember watching the night it aired…the Finale.  That was a sad night for me.  You see, I had basically grown up with those six folks.  They helped me make it through High School, College, and my first steps into the “real world.”  I know, it sounds silly, but that was one of the few shows I’ve ever encountered on television that I really connected with.  Remembering how I felt during that fateful night of May 6, 2004, it really got my mind wandering to all of the other things that I will never enjoy again.

So here is a list of some of the things I miss the most: Read the rest of this entry »

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Why I Abandoned the Church…Almost.

By Phil | May 14, 2008

Not too long ago, I seriously considered leaving the Church, as we know it, altogether.  Really.  After nearly 30 years of involvement, I was ready to break it off.  I grew up in church.  My father was a pastor, until just over a year ago (he’s now doing ministry at the state level), and I have personally been serving on church staff since 2001.  I have been part of small churches, mega-churches, country churches, city churches, traditional churches, contemporary churches, and I now serve in a new church plant.  I have experienced a full array of all that churches have to offer.  And I must say, I’m not too impressed.  

Let me warn you:  This commentary will offend.  This commentary will make someone uncomfortable.  It may even make some of you angry.  But I also hope that it will bring to the forefront all that should be good about Christ’s Church.  Please read this with an open mind, an open heart, and a sense of honesty and urgency.

So here they are.  5 reasons why I abandoned the Church…almost:

  1. Christian Elitism - What is Christian Elitism?  Simply put, it is the idea that my church is bigger, better, stronger, more in tune with God, and more effective than your church.  Or to simplify it further, my church is awesome and your church sucks and everyone hates us because we’re doing it better.  Let me explain.  Several years ago, I began attending a prominent church in the community in which I lived.  On the surface, this church was amazing.  A charismatic pastor, wonderful worship leader and band, “relevant” topical preaching, a young demographic, and there was just a buzz all around the place.  I must admit, I was a bit infatuated.  I had just resigned from a staff position and was in-between jobs, so this was the first time that I had really experienced what it is like for the average church goer.  Week after week, I attended and really enjoyed the experience.  After a while, however, I began to notice a strange pattern of behavior from others in the church.  Time after time, a typical conversation with others in the church would usually lead to a statement about how we were so different…better…than the other churches in the area.  A feeling of “us vs. them” permeated through the entire body.  I began to wonder where this idea was coming from.  I mean, all churches are working together for a common good, right?  We’re on the same team.  Then, the realization hit me.  This was a mentality that was being fed from the top down.  Over the next several weeks, I noticed that the leadership of this church was making some reference to this EVERY SINGLE WEEK.  The pastor was consistently talking about how our church did things different, and because of this the other churches in the area don’t like us, and if they aren’t going to reach out to the community then we sure will.  That was it for me (although there were many other factors in my decision).  As much as I enjoyed the experience at that church, I could not support that mentality.  Really…it’s one thing to be excited about your church and reaching the community, but it’s another thing to tear down other church bodies and further contribute to the divide.

    And this is not just a problem in the contemporary church movement.  In fact, this mentality was probably created by traditionalists who took every opportunity to tear down a church that was effective in the community.  And that’s the whole point.  Attacking other members of the Body of Christ is simply wrong, and there is no place in the Church for this type of behavior.  

  2. The Self-Centered Church - Take a look at your own church budget for a minute.  Go ahead, I’ll wait.  Good.  Now, grab a sheet of paper.  Make two columns and label the first one My Church, the second one My Community.  Now, I want you to go through your budget item by item and place them in one column or the other.  I know, it’s a tedious thing to ask.  But I promise you, it’ll be an eye-opener.  For the vast majority of churches, upwards of 80-90% of all budget items would probably end up in one column.  Can you guess which one?  This is an issue that crosses all church boundaries.  Most of the money in our churches goes right back into our churches.  Multi-million dollar buildings, countless programs, social gatherings, special concerts, etc.  A great man once said “for where your treasure is, your heart will be also.”  That Jesus guy…you know, he really got it.  The problem is, everything we do in our churches is for us.  Sure, we usually claim some desire to reach the lost with whatever we are doing, but the reality is that we are mostly just concerned with ourselves.  Programs don’t reach people…they just keep the people we already have satisfied.  Buildings won’t impact our communities…but they will provide a better, more comfortable environment for our own people.  And I gotta say…I’m amazed at what the early church was able do.  Let’s face it…they didn’t have sound systems, powerpoint, or really cool stage lighting.  I’m amazed this whole Christian thing ever got off the ground.  

    Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy all of those things as much as anyone.  But don’t you find that we spend far too much time and energy consumed with our own church agendas and far too little on going outside the walls of the church and building relationships with the world around us?  What would happen if a growing church would say “we’re not going to invest millions in building a new facility.  Instead, we are going to take some of our people and plant a new work.  Or maybe invest in planting a married couple into an apartment community specifically to reach those in multi-housing communities.”  With the vast financial resources that many of our churches have, we could make a global impact if we would choose to operate on 50% (or less) of our current budgets, and invest the other 50% in our communities.  

    So the question is:  whose kingdom are we really trying to build…ours or God’s?

  3. The Missing Element:  Ethics - What has happened to ethics within the church?  I have a close friend who once served on staff at a very popular, fast-growing church.  When I asked him about why he left, he shared something with me that broke my heart.  You see, he had discovered that some other leaders of this church were actively recruiting top givers from other churches.  Seriously.  They were visiting these families with their own pitch about why they should leave the church they were currently supporting and come to a church that was “actually doing something.”  My friend took issue with this, and shared his feelings with his pastor, after which he was quietly let go from his position.  Yes, this is an extreme example of a blatant disregard for ethics within the church.  But this sort of thing happens much more often than we would like to admit.  Staff are treated unfairly, the church operates more like a business than a church, top donors are given special treatment, and let’s not even get started on rumors, gossip, and backstabbing that goes on within a congregation.  All of these problems point to the existence of a deep, moral/ethical void alive and well within the one place it shouldn’t be.

    I remember a situation that happened to me in my very first staff position.  Among my other duties at the church, I was Director of Recreation, meaning that I was to oversee our children and youth basketball league.  We were a fairly large church, so we had over 20 teams just within our own church body.  I still recall the day that one of my coaches, and a deacon in the church, physically threatened me because I was considering moving a 9 year old boy off of his team and onto another one, at the parents’ request.  After a lengthy and very loud conversation, I remember hanging up the phone and sitting at my desk in utter disbelief.  Here was someone who was supposed to be a spiritual leader within our church, and I couldn’t believe what I had just heard.  Add in other issues, such as attempted recruiting and cheating in a church league, and one thing became very clear to me:  we had a serious ethics problem.

  4. Fear of Drowning - Possibly the most dangerous thing on my list is the watering down of scriptural truths that has become such a part of our church culture.  In our world, we have become so concerned with being attractive, relevant, and popular that we are deathly afraid of laying the truth of scripture in front of our people.  Let’s face it…the Bible is a tough book.  It is full of things that aren’t pretty, that aren’t easy.  But we have made Christianity into some sort of sideshow, claiming it’s all about us…our purpose, our success, our lives.  And anything in scripture that doesn’t fit nicely into our own pre-conceived notions is generally skipped right on over in favor of something a little more palatable.  And we all know what happens when we no longer eat for sustenance but for pleasure….we get fat and lazy. And that is exactly what has happened.  We have created a culture of Christians that have no concept of conviction, of sacrifice, of hard truths.  And we as church leaders have no-one to blame but ourselves because we have moved away from teaching the foundational truths of scripture for the sake of “relevance.”  

  5. We’ve quit caring.  This one is the toughest one to take.  I know that the church has problems, and most people will admit the same.  But when did we decide to stop fighting for His bride?  Or worse, when did we stop caring altogether?  I know I’m not the only one who sees the problems that the church has.  I talk to church leaders every day that are starting to grasp the situation that we have created.  So why is it that so few are attempting to do something about it?  Why is it that many of our church leaders refuse to work toward reconciliation? Why do we continue to support the same broken patterns that got us here in the first place?  Why do we still fight over things that are irrelevant, break each other down?  Why do we still teach our people to be self-centered, focus our energies inside?  It seems to me that if we acknowledge a problem we must be willing to do something about it, no matter how difficult.


By now, I’m sure some of you are saying “well Phillip, if you hate the church so much, why not just leave?”  Well, it’s simple, really.  I love Jesus.  And Jesus loves the Church.  The Church is the Bride of Christ.  And because Jesus loves the Church, so do I.  At least, I love the idea of what the Church was intended to be.  The problem is, churches are full of sinners saved by grace.  And because the Church is comprised of imperfect people, so we will have imperfect churches.  Church leaders are not messiahs…they are simply lost and broken people that have been found by Jesus Christ.  But although we may never reach perfection, we should always be striving for it.  

So here is my challenge to all of you church leaders out there:  What Will You Do?  That was the theme of the Catalyst conference last year, and those four little words haunt me every day.  Will you as a leader, whether in a contemporary or traditional church, take the first step towards reconciliation with the other churches in your community?  Will you make an effort to build up not only your own fellowship but the other church communities around you?  Will you commit to turn your attention from your own church operation and focus on the community in which God has placed your church?  Will you strive to teach and reinforce ethical responsibilities among your staff and church?  Will you freely teach the truths of scripture, even when it’s uncomfortable?  And will you love your church enough to do whatever is necessary to purify His Bride?

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So, you think YOU’RE having a bad day?

By Phil | April 29, 2008

A picture is worth a thousand words.

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Home Sweet Home

By Phil | April 28, 2008

131 Days and counting until I can make it back to my home-away-from-home (124 days until the season opener, home opener a week later).  I mean really…who wouldn’t want to be a part of something like this:

There is something about passion and tradition that strikes a chord in my soul.  I mean really…if you are a college football fan and this doesn’t get you pumped up, you’re either dead inside…or bitter.

 

Saturdays in the South…where football is King.  August 30 can’t get here soon enough!

So here’s my question…what are your passions?  You know, it’s really easy for me to get excited about this silly game.  But these games come and go, and no matter who wins the earth keeps on spinning.  But I find it increasingly difficult to have this same kind of passion about my faith.  Sure, arenas and conferences give me a glimpse of that kind of passion, but why is it so tough for that passion to be sustained?  Doesn’t God deserve a more “rabid fan-base?”  But the sad reality is, churches all over the country are filled with stagnant Christians who are more passionate about their own sports teams than they are about their faith…people who spend more time getting to and from the game than they do in the stands, yet won’t attend a church more than a couple of miles away.  People who will wake up at 4am to make sure they get in their parking space in plenty of time to “tailgate,” yet regularly drag themselves to worship 15 minutes late.

I must admit, I’ve been struggling with this stuff for a long time.  You will not meet a more passionate Tiger fan than me.  I’ve grown up going to those games.  I just wonder what it will take for me and my fellow fanatics to give God the passionate response that He deserves.  Just a thought.

 

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Think Different

By Phil | April 19, 2008

I just had to share this pic with you all. Here’s my question: Who’s really breaking free from the mold?

Think Different

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Slow Down!

By Phil | April 18, 2008

Hey folks. Have I ever mentioned how much I love springtime in the South? Beautiful weather today. Right now I’m just sitting out on my patio at my apartment listening to some music and enjoying the evening. What a great way to get away from the world. I’m always amazed at the beauty that surrounds us every day…beauty that we often take for granted. Check out this view from my patio.

Back Patio

It just doesn’t get much better than that. Temperatures in the 70’s, blue skies, golf course. What a wonderful end to an otherwise hectic week. God is good.

Enjoying the weather

Why is it that we can look at the same scenery every single day and think nothing of it. Then, all of a sudden, we take notice and are in total awe? The human mind is a funny thing. Maybe it’s because we fill our lives with so much “stuff” that we rarely ever slow down enough to take in all of what God has laid before us. Computers, TV, video games, movies, sports, work…we’re pulled in so many different directions that we’ve forgotten how to live.

So try and take a deep breath, slow down, and take in the beauty of God’s creation. May 3rd is Shutdown Day. Turn off those computers for 24 hours. Avoid Twitter, Facebook and your blogs for a day. Turn off that cell phone. Grab your friends and family, get outside, and see life as God intended.

Remember…nobody closes in on the end of their life and says “i wish I had spent more time working.”

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Church of Oprah?

By Phil | April 5, 2008

Boy, I must really be out of it.  One of our pastors sent me a link to a very interesting video concerning Oprah and a new “religous” movement she is a part of.  I’m not sure what to say about this.  See the link below.  The video is a little sensational, but watching it made my head spin.  In light of recent discussions on misusing labels and the liberal vs. conservative argument, I gotta say….we’re ALL “ultra fundamentalists” compared to this stuff.  Check it out:

 

Now, I don’t know about you, but my initial reaction could only be described as…well…

 

So what do you think?  What does this say about the society we live in, or where we are headed as a culture?  As for me, my heart breaks for Oprah and others who have been deceived.  The battle rages on for the hearts of man…and it’s not pretty.

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It’s Official. Modern Music is Dead…Mostly

By Phil | April 3, 2008

Hey you!  Remember when music was actually good?  When it was fun?  When it actually said something?  Yeah, me too…but it seems that those days are far behind us.  Or maybe I’m just turning into a music snob.  I’m not sure which.

What I do know is that most of the music produced today is absolutely horrible.  I can’t even listen to the radio anymore.  There are very few actual recording “artists” anymore.  Instead, we have a bunch of talentless hacks overproducing an inferior product.  With the touch of a button, people who can’t carry a tune in a bucket are able to adjust their own pitch to fool people into thinking they can sing.  And the sad thing is, they aren’t even subtle about it.  You can clearly hear the electronic adjustments in the track…disguised as a legitimate sound “enhancement.”

Whatever happened to the days of real music?  Accoustic-driven melodies, driving rhythms, raw vocals?  What happened to a group of REAL musicians coming together to cut loose and have a good time?  What happened to the days of Dave Matthews Band, Barenaked Ladies, Sister Hazel, Blues Traveler, even Edwin McCain?  I even miss groups like Fastball, Everything, Five For Fighting, Ben Fold’s Five, and Blessid Union of Souls.  I mean, at least these guys had fun with their music.  They didn’t take themselves too seriously.  And isn’t that really what music is all about…an outlet of creative expression that is stinkin’ fun.  So many of today’s musicians have lost sight of this.

Don’t get me wrong.  There are a handful of modern musicians that I do rather enjoy.  Gavin DeGraw is a new fav and who doesn’t dig a little John Mayer from time to time?  But as a whole, I’m sorely disappointed at what is being produced these days.  It’s no wonder music-sharing/stealing is such an issue.  Nobody wants to pay CD prices for the junk that’s being put out there.  As for me, I’ll stick to my own music collection for now.

They say that music evolves in cycles.  Here’s hoping that a music revolution starts soon.

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Open Dialogue

By Phil | April 2, 2008

My good friend Danny called me out on his blog yesterday over some of the discussions we have from time to time dealing with theological issues.  That’s ok, D…I still love ya.  MOST of the time, our discussions are good-natured fun (for me, because I get under his skin so much).  I love to push buttons…to get people a little riled up.  It’s a great way to test people to see if they really understand their own convictions.  For Danny and me, it’s very interesting.  We both are fairly similar in our own personal theology…some differences here and there, but nothing major.  The big difference is in how we form and approach that theology.  It’s funny when we get into arguments…both saying the exact same thing essentially, just in very different ways.  How insane is it that it is so easy to get caught up in the arguments and not once realize that you’re not really arguing.

Reflecting on these kinds of discussions got me thinking.  When is the last time you had a real, meaningful open dialogue with someone over theological issues?  I’m not talking about the last time you tried to argue your position against someone else’s because you KNOW you’re right.  I’m talking about a real dialogue…one where opposing viewpoints are welcome, where you don’t try to disprove what the other person is saying but rather where you are trying to understand where they are coming from?  Instead of asking questions in an attempt to cause them to contradict themselves, you asked questions with pure motives of understanding.

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of these dialogues.  I try to have them every chance I get…but it becomes increasingly difficult in today’s society.  We have way too many people, Christian and non-Christian alike, who so adamently stand behind their own convictions that they refuse to even listen to anyone else.  I’m not saying we have to agree, but at least lets be civil about it.

Let me give you an example.  I have grown up Southern Baptist and considered myself to be fairly conservative in my theology (others may argue, but that’s another topic).  My theology holds true to the majority of other Southern Baptists, and I remain a SB at heart today.  I do, however, have many Presbyterian friends.  While in college at Anderson University in Anderson, SC, I had a very meaningful discussion with one of these friends over Calvinism.

Now, I’m no Calvinist.  And this is a hot topic even now among Christians.  So my buddy, Stev-o, and I began a dialogue in the library one afternoon (the fact that I was even in a library is a miracle in itself).  Being a Presbyterian at a Baptist institution had taught Stev-o one thing:  Baptists are pig-headed.  He was constantly being “evangelized” by my other Baptist bretheren…argued with, proved wrong (in their eyes), and ridiculed for his belief.  Understand, Stev-o has more Biblical knowledge in his little finger than I could ever dream to have.  He’s an outright genius (and a pretty good drummer too).  But he had come to the conclusion that all we ever did was try to prove that our Baptist theology was right and everyone else was wrong.

Stev-o and I had been friends for a while.  So I wasn’t at all intimidated by having this conversation.  I was not approaching him in order to convert him.  I simply asked him to explain his belief to me.  You see, countless people had told me that Calvinism was wrong, but nobody could ever really tell me why.  The truth was, most people I knew didn’t really know that much about it.  They had learned the acronym TULIP, but that’s about it.

So Stev-o and I had casual conversation about it.  I asked questions, he provided answers.  He explained his worldview, and I listened.  Did I agree with him?  On some points, yes.   On others…absolutely not.  But did I try and correct him?  No.  He was polite, patient, provided scriptural basis for his beliefs, and that’s more than I can say for most Christians I know.  After I had gotten a pretty good understanding of his point of view, he was open to hearing mine…and my own objections to some of his beliefs (note: not trying to prove that he is wrong, but more explaining why I do not agree with a certain point.)

Stev-o and I have had many such conversations since.  Has he converted me or I him?  Nope.  But because of that first conversation we had, we can continue to explore these differences without fear.   We are still great friends who agree to disagree.

So what did I learn from this?  It’s ok to listen.  It’s ok to be challenged.  Maybe if we do less arguing and more listening, we could focus on the things that are really important…like..um…i dunno….impacting a lost world.

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ACC Tournament Time!

By Phil | March 14, 2008

Man, it just doesn’t get any better than this.  Sitting on my couch, getting ready to watch my Tigers take on Boston College in the ACC Tournament.  With a 3 seed for the first time since I can remember, Clemson actually is in a pretty good position.  But you gotta win the first one.  Here’s to a great night of the best basketball in the world….ACC Basketball!

It’s just a great time to be a Tiger.  A great basketball season so far, the first NCAA tourney appearance in 10 years, a decent football season last year, the #2 recruiting class in the nation in football, a solid lineup of juniors and seniors back for this fall…not to mention the baseball team.  Man, this ride is fun.

On a more personal note…I have been working out for a week…and have the notorious “T-Rex” syndrome….you know…where your arms are locked at 90 degrees, and you can’t reach out for anything?  Yeah…not fun.  Thank goodness for Icy Hot.

Also, I broke down and bought a mountain bike today.  Trying a new hobby.  I’m starting to get serious about this fitness thing…I’ve been playing basketball each week since January, and started working out at the gym last week.  And I feel better than I have in a long, long time.  I’m really enjoying it.  I have more energy, focus, and of course….pain.  But the good kind.

Well, it’s tip-off time.  C-L-E-M-S-O-N    T-I-G-E-RRRRR-S  FIGHT TIGERS, FIGHT TIGERS, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

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